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Only A Ninja .​.​.

by Classic Pat

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1.
Intro 01:15
2.
Emerging from his cavern lair He stalks his target unaware Hired assassin from Japan Sent to take out the science man They think they’ve got him on the run They don’t know what they’re dealing with Across the golf course through the trees He brings the police to their knees They can’t believe he’s gone this far Evading choppers, bikes, and cars They think they’ve got him on the run They don’t know what they’re dealing with Never gonna stop him with their guns Their faces he’s remembering Remembering Remembering Remembering Remembering
3.
Out in the desert music fills the summer air She pulls on her work belt and in her hard hat tucks her hair Atop a telephone pole Christie checks the line As she enjoys the breeze some movement below catches her eye Out in the desert sand She spots a fallen man Does he need help she goes to aid him But when she reaches him Her nightmare then begins Gripping her tight his gaze pulls her in She takes the sword in her hands Eyes locked with those of the dying man He speaks the words and then he’s gone Two souls combined as one Her mind is reeling as the visions fill her head The faces of the ones responsible for this man’s death As consciousness returns she goes to call for help She hides the sword away it’s whereabouts she’d never tell So when the cops arrive The ninjas not alive She fills them in on how she found him But she knows there’s something more Dark secrets of the sword Memories not soon forgotten She took the sword in her hands Eyes locked with those of the dying man He spoke the words and then was gone Two souls combined as one She hides the sword with her hands Her eyes now those of the dead man He spoke the words and then was gone Two souls combined as one Two souls combined as one Two souls combined as one Two souls combined as one Two souls combined as one
4.
First saw you at the station sitting at that desk That planted the idea of staging your arrest After your dance aerobics class I saw you kicking rapist ass That’s when the time had come at last For me spring my little trap Driving around you questioned what I was up to Said you didn’t date policemen I said to hell with you And that’s when you invited me To join you for something to drink But since you never drink caffeine You only had one thing for me You opened up a chilled can And poured it out for me to taste Lapped it up off your breasts and Knew I should have had a v8 Vitamin C Poured out for me And 2 servings Of healthy veggies Vitamin A And such a great taste Let’s do this all day You opened up a chilled can And poured it out for me to taste Lapped it up off your breasts and Knew I should have had a v8 Could have had a V8 Will always have V8
5.
I followed billy to your home That’s how I knew just where to go I watch you play pool and drink beer Unaware that I’m even here You shot me down in cold blood I’ll make sure you scratch the cue You’re stuck behind the eight ball Now your time is through You try but fail to defend yourself As I send your ass straight to hell I put you with down with the death blow And toss you right through your window You shot me down in cold blood I’ll make sure you scratch the cue You’re stuck behind the eight ball Now your time is through Your life flashes before you Your splashing blood stains the felt There’s nothing left for you As my revenge is dealt There’s no chalk for your pool cue Only chalk for your outline As your life fades game over Now vengeance is mine
6.
Lately I ain’t feeling like myself I been blackin out and waking up in strange places I think it’s time that I tried to find help Cause I keep on seeing visions of strange mens faces Am I alright Is there something you can see I don’t feel right I think there’s something wrong with me I saw my doctor and my shrink They said there’s nothing abnormal that they can see But they wonder if there is a link Between my Asian culture obsession and esp Am I alright Is there something you can see I don’t feel right I think there’s something wrong with me What do you think Doctor what does this all mean I’m on the brink I think there’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Is there something wrong I think there’s something wrong There’s something wrong with me Am I alright Is there something you can see I don’t feel right I think there’s something wrong with me What do you think Doctor what does this all mean I’m on the brink I think there’s something wrong with me
7.
You take your lady friends out to the health club So they can service you there in the hot tub They’re not so happy when I join in the fun You won’t be either by the time that I’m done Come on in the water’s fine You float face down vengeance is mine A poison pin prick kiss of death so playful A slash across the first girls breasts proves fatal Before she can alert the staff of trouble I hold the other one below the bubbles Come on in the water’s fine You float face down vengeance is mine Come on in the water’s fine You float face down vengeance is mine Your blood creates a deathly brine You float face down vengeance is mine
8.
Billys concern has led them to this place Where anxiously answers they hope to find The old wise man sees darkness in her face The evil spirit fighting ropes that bind Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can this spell reverse Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can dispel this curse The ninja laughs his power on display The old wise man suspended on the wall Her body spins in inhuman ways The spirit taunts them with his ghostly call Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can this spell reverse Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can dispel this curse You fool You cannot stop me I am a ninja No one Nothing can stop me Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can this spell reverse Only a ninja can destroy a ninja Only a ninja can dispel this curse Only a ninja Only a ninja Only a ninja Only a ninja
9.
I hear him calling me The spirit of that man I try to tame the beast Inside me best I can Don’t wanna lose control And let the ninja in I’ve gotta do something If I wanna stop him As lights are dimming And fog flows over the floor I do the only thing I think could win this war I turn the radio up Let that music play And I try desperately to Dance the hate away Been training all my life Hope it pays off today As I try my damnedest to Dance the hate away The fridge is rolling round Trying to block my way The ninja making sure That I can’t get away So I just dive into Aerobic exercise Praying through my dancing The spirits exorcised The closet opens and to Suck me in it tries It’s like the ninja’s favorite Movies poltergeist I turn the radio up Let that music play And I try desperately to Dance the hate away Not sure it’s working but I Won’t give up today I’ll just keep on trying to Dance the hate away The sword is floating Carried by two ghostly hands How is he doing this I’ll never understand I turn the radio up Let that music play And I try desperately to Dance the hate away Right through my stereo The sword slashes away That’s when I realize I can’t Dance the hate away
10.
The cops are filing in to say goodbye to fallen friends They have no clue the way that all of this is gonna end My vantage point is crystal clear from my perch in this tree Overlooking them all gathered in the cemetary Two faces from my visions Must slay them to complete my quest Vengeance is my one mission As I see that they’re laid to rest I draw my bow and let the arrow fly my aim is true The crowd’s confusion taking hold fear controls what they do They open fire on the tree line not knowing I’m not there Now on the ground I strike them down No they don’t have a prayer Two faces from my visions Must slay them to complete my quest Vengeance is my one mission As I see that they’re laid to rest They’re laid to rest
11.
Oh Billy 02:34
Billy says that he saw me there Witnessed me killing them Even though that he says he cares He’s gotta take me in That’s when the final vision clears up in my head Billys the final cop the ninja wants him dead Oh Billy Oh Billy Oh Billy I don’t wanna hurt you Oh Billy Oh Billy Oh Billy I Don't Know what to do I knock you out and get away so I don’t take your life After the funeral today I got into a fight Another ninja had found me but let me go Where I can find him somehow I magically know Oh Billy Oh Billy Oh Billy I don’t wanna hurt you Oh Billy Oh Billy Oh Billy I don't know what to do Please don’t follow me The temples where he’ll be I know he can help me So please don’t follow me
12.
He’s traveled here from the land of the rising sun He knows first hand just what this evil ninjas done His father is among the ones the ninja’s killed In the ways to terminate the spirit he is skilled He seeks vengeance now For the ninjas crimes Hunt the evil down Fight for one last time No one knows his secret what’s his mission Focused on his target tunnel vision Ninja master summoned by decision Of the old wise man Tracking down the evil ninja spirit Sensing all the places he’ll be near it Face the darkness and he’ll never fear it The man from Japan Now he’s seen it’s face and much to his surprise The spirit wears a woman’s face with ninjas eyes He’s got the body at the temple now he waits To put the evil in its final resting place He’s waiting here now For her to arrive Force the spirit out If she will survive No one knows his secret what’s his mission Focused on his target tunnel vision Ninja master summoned by decision Of the old wise man Tracking down the evil ninja spirit Sensing all the places he’ll be near it Face the darkness and he’ll never fear it The man from Japan The time is nigh The final battle has arrived The time is night The final battle has arrived The time nigh The final battle has arrived The time is nigh The final final battle has arrived
13.
An evil sound It fills the ears of all of those around Dark mind control Drives them to blindly fight the one they know He holds them at bay Knowing the ninja’s orders they obey Until he can Destroy the ninja’s power of command Face to face now This is where it ends Final showdown This is we’re it ends It’s power is great It makes the mountains crumble and ground shake But with a blade He strikes the ninja down its body fades Face to face now This is where it ends Final showdown This is where it ends She is free now This is where it ends It is done now This is where it ends Two souls combined as one Is there something wrong with me You float face down vengeance is mine Only a ninja can destroy a ninja

about

Growing up in the 80’s ninjas were a part of everyday life. In the toy aisle, on television, at the cinema, and in the local video store ninjas were everywhere. But one piece of ninja pop culture that grabbed my attention more than any other was the 1984 cinematic masterpiece NINJA 3: THE DOMINATION! While it was billed as part 3 it had no ties to the previous two films in the series (as was also the case with the second film in the series, REVENGE OF THE NINJA, which had no ties to the first, ENTER THE NINJA) other than star Sho Kosugi. But what NINJA 3 did have was the perfect amalgamation of everything popular in the 80’s you could think of. Martial arts mayhem? Check. Ghosts, possession, and other horror goodness? You know it! Dance aerobics? Sure, why not? This crazy mashup of genres should not have worked, but OH HOW IT DID! Probably the most rented movie of my childhood (besides possibly A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS, but we’ll cross that bridge on a future album), NINJA 3 is one of my top 5 favorite films of all time, and because of that I’ve created this album, a musical retelling of the film’s story. Do you need to have seen the movie to enjoy it? I don’t think so, but if you haven’t seen it why the hell are you not racing to track it down for your next movie night right now? Well, maybe after you finish listening to the album first.

-Classic Pat

Intro - (The evil ninja gathers his weapons and suits up.)

Enter The Ninja - (The ninja assassinates a prominent scientist on a golf course, slaughters numerous police officers, and is finally brutally gunned down by a handful of cops, only to escape into the desert.)

Two Souls Combined - (Our heroine, Christie, is working on a phone line in the desert when she encounters the ninja who transfers his soul to her body, filling her mind with the faces of the policemen who took his life.)

I Shoulda Had A V8 - (Police Officer Billy Secord follows Christie only to find himself back at her apartment for an unforgettable encounter.)

Behind The 8 Ball (First Vengeance) - (After seeing one of the policemen with Billy, Christy follows him to his home where the ninja, through her, kills him while he plays pool.)

I Think There’s Something Wrong With Me - (Unsure of why she has been experiencing blackouts and lost time, Christie seeks the aid of her doctor)

Come On In The Water’s Fine (Second Vengeance) - (While looking for Billy at the police station, Christie encounters another of the policemen from her visions. Taken over by the ninja once more, she follows him to a spa where she murders him and two of his “friends” in the hot tub.)

Only A Ninja - (Billy takes Christie to an old wise man seeking answers to Christie’s dilemma. There they discover the truth that she is possessed by the spirit of the ninja and learn that “Only a ninja can destroy a ninja.”)

Dance The Hate Away - (Knowing that the remaining police officers will be attending the funeral for one of the others killed by the ninja, Christie feels the ninja once more trying to take control of her. Desperately she tries to distract herself and fight off the ninja.)

Laid To Rest (Final Vengeance) - (Unable to resist the ninja, Christie goes to the funeral where she murders the two remaining policemen from her visions).

Oh Billy - (Billy, having witnessed Christie’s actions at the funeral, attempts to arrest her, only for Christie to realize that Billy is the final face from her visions.)

The Man From Japan - (Yamada, a good ninja, has tracked the evil ninja to Christie and prepares for the final battle.)

This Is Where It Ends - (After driving the spirit out of Christie and back into it’s own body, Yamada and the ninja clash at an old temple.)

credits

released May 20, 2023

Recorded April 2023 at The Bonus Room in Columbia, TN. All music by Classic Pat except for elements of NINJA POWER written by Rob Walsh included in Intro and This Is Where It Ends.

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Classic Pat Columbia, Tennessee

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